Egoism (from lat. ego - "I") - value orientation, behavior, entirely determined by the thought of their own benefit, when the individual puts his interests above the interests of others.
Selfishness is perceived by different individuals in very different ways. What is considered normal for one person, another person may perceive it as excessive egoism. Often naming egoist is used simply as a negative label, showing a negative attitude to a person without serious grounds.
Egoism can be explicit, hidden, and open, as well as disguised. It is also conscious and impulsive, far-sighted and short-sighted.
Egoist often does not go beyond materiality. He wants comfort, material prosperity, satisfaction of desires and ambitions. Those people who think that egoism is self-love are mistaken. It's not, it's not. After all, often what the egoist wants for himself is not useful for him. That is, he hurts himself and strongly samoreguliruetsja, which means he doesn't love himself, and perhaps even hates.
Selfishness is, in fact, the antithesis of spirituality. Almost all religions and spiritual teachings teach rejection of oneself and one's own selfish interests. The man is vicious on these selfish interests is a very limited man, he is like a cancer cell on the body of society, which seek to take, always and everywhere, never giving.
The development of egoism and its transformation into a dominant orientation of the personality explains the serious defects of education. If the tactics of family education objective aimed at securing such things, as high self-esteem and self-centeredness of the child, then he can form a strong values orientation, at which only his own interests, needs, experiences, etc.
The philosophy of the egoist sounds in one word - "Give". The egoist is the one who wants only to receive, without giving anything in return. But our life is arranged in such a way that it is difficult to get something without giving something in return. Answer another rhetorical question: "is it important for a Person to receive or give?". That's the main thing: to get or to give? Of course to receive, for free. Receiving is the main principle of the egoist. Giving is the main principle of the altruist. Getting only for yourself is very bad.
Selfish in its nature are the real destroyers. If the egoist creates a family, then he destroys it, at least his family will never be happy. If the egoist is any boss, then his subordinates will not be envied, they will not see justice and care for themselves, and any enterprise will suffer great losses, because all egoists-chiefs as a rule â€“ bureaucrats and careerists who do not disdain anything just to consolidate their position, and by any ways and means, bribes, theft â€” to provide for themselves materially. They do not care about the interests of the state and the people. And so always, everywhere and in everything â€” these people ruin everything and are only one injury.
Insatiable ego screams all the time: "not enough!"because it does not know how to be content with little, he knows no modesty. Egoism leads to the fact that the human mind is constantly in tension, calculating its own benefit and resorting to various tricks and tricks. A person who suffers from selfishness cannot truly love others or even himself. For him, the most important thing is that he was good and comfortable, and everything else does not matter. But the pursuit of peace and comfort is not love at all. Under a pile of selfishness is hidden a helpless and suffering person who needs warmth, care and attention, but she does not know how all this can be legitimately obtained.
A conclusion from all the above, everyone must do for himself. After all, no one but the person himself can reliably determine how selfish he is, whether it is necessary for him and in what direction he will continue to develop. Should he choose the path of personal selfishness by stimulating his lower self or the path of the particle of The higher Divine Self (individuality), seeking to discover that Self within himself. For how can it be selfish people, aware of themselves and the people around him part of an integrated Whole, understanding that doing good to others, he was doing good and yourself?
Let's start with the fact that a person should realize his problem and want to get rid of it. Otherwise, a favorable outcome has nothing to hope for. You first need to find the origins of the emergence of selfishness. As a rule, selfish behavior lurking fear of the unknown and a huge distrust of other people. In order to get rid of this fear and distrust, willpower is needed. If egoism develops into a pathological desire for power and megalomania, then only long-term psychotherapeutic treatment can help. However, in this case, the person must clearly realize that he is selfish, and want to change.
Take advantage of our helpful tips to get rid of selfishness:
1. Try every day to do one good and unselfish work-move the old woman across the street, free lift the voter, help the neighbor to bring to the apartment bags, replace the employee at work, sit with her nephew.
2. Master the technique of active listening. It involves active participation in the conversation, so:
Ask leading questions;
Be interested in the feelings of the narrator;
Pay attention to the body language;
Express your appreciation of what you have heard.
3. Help the people around you. For example, take part in a charity event - feed a local homeless man, throw a couple of rubles to a beggar, take old things and toys to a children's home. The mass of options! In extreme cases, go to the social service, it will find your energy worthy application.
4. Get a pet. Over time, he will become a real member of your family. To the same, animals entirely and fully depend on people, their need feed, wash, walk, to drive to the vet. In General, live only for yourself you just will not work.
5. Get rid of selfishness and greed - start a family and have children! To build a good relationship you have to take a little and give a lot, and this is the best solution.
6. Become a member of the team. Sign up for an Amateur music company, go with the staff on a hike, become a member of the parent Committee, take part in team competitions, try your hand at a joint project. A sense of community and common cause will force you to pacify his own "I".
7. Talk less about yourself. When meeting with friends or relatives are not in a hurry to dump their sorrows and worries. First, ask how they feel and how they are doing.
8. In order not to be selfish, learn to give first and then receive.